Our Cracky, Who art in heaven
Hallowed be Thy User Names;
They Catharsis come,
They Will be done,
on boards as it is in The Wire.
Give us this day our daily rarez,
and forgive us for our flaming,
as we forgive those who have flamed us;
and lead us not into camwhores,
but deliver us from Boxxy. Amen.
So i just had the marvellous idea to hit up some oldfag on aim, abyss. Not that any of you remember him. But somehow he had blocked away cracky, and in his case it was for the better, so he decided not to come back. He had one question: is cracky doing fine nowadays? The answer to that is probably yes. You all have his regards.
This brings us to the question of today: are you better of than in 2008 (when he left)? Or did nothing improve (even yourself?), or did your world crumble in the meantime?
Someone asked me “what does it feel like to be loved” recently and I gave a pretty poor answer, sorry. Just it’s really hard to define, but it came to me in the weirdest way today. Since I’m moving I’ve been reflecting a lot upon the relationships that I have with people (purely platonic in nature). I didn’t realise until now, a few days before leaving, how much a few people care about me and how much I actually do care for them too. One girl in particular, she’s just so nice (‘nice’ is such a terrible word) it’s indescribable, I rarely make real connections with people and when I do I think they’re really important and she’s one of those few people. Now, a lot of people can compliment you and say really nice things but sometimes it’s the things that are small that people say that make you realise they love you (again, this is love in a platonic sense). I was having a conversation with said friend on the nature of love, which is a pleasant coincidence, and somehow she managed to fit in “You have such beautiful underarms.” It’s only today that I realise that people only comment on little things about you if they honestly care. It felt as if a little weight had been lifted off of me simply because someone cares.
For a better example take waifu, she’s probably the sweetest most loyal girl I’ve ever met and I didn’t truly realise the extent of the ‘love’ that we have until she stayed at my house after a meet. I tried to make alcoholic sweets and it just didn’t work and they were probably the most disgusting things that I’ve ever made, which is kind of not the point. The point is she tried to eat them but was too tired. Then she posted a valentine for me on the loli-valentines comm and it was one of the sweetest things I’ve ever read, I think it was the line “Next time I’ll eat all of the jelly worms” that really got me. It’s an uplifting feeling, it’s not a feeling that lasts forever but it’s one that shows itself from time to time and takes you away from yourself for a little while.
I’m only describing platonic love because I don’t want to go on forever and love is too complex to describe in its entirety. I probably sound creepy but I don’t really care. I wasn’t going to post this until waifu (I just don’t know if I can use her real name on my tumblr…) messaged me trying to cheer me up and referenced the gummy worms.
